29.02 | The Tautology of Freedom

Romans 7:7-8:17

‘For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!’

Romans 7:22-25

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There’s a concept in logical mathematics named tautology. It’s used to describe a proposition that is completely true in every circumstance. Such as “Either the mug is grey or the mug is not grey.” It has to be one or the other, regardless of whether the mug is grey or aquamarine. It is what it is.

In the past chapters, Paul has given us a tautology:

Through the death of Jesus, you are free.

That seems pretty clear. Always true in every circumstance. The Cross worked.

And yet, when the rubber of this statement hits the road of our lived experience, we quickly hit some potholes.

What about my anger? What about my lust? What about my addiction? What about what I looked at online last night, or what I feel in my moments of greatest anxiety?

That doesn’t feel like freedom.

Paul knows this feeling well, and puts unpacks these tensions in his own soul. 

“For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. …For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”

Tricky to read. And yet so familiar to our experience. We’ve all got our own versions:

I want to be loving, but I keep being critical and harsh.

I want to be generous, but I end up hoarding and fearful.

I want to be calm, but I feel anxious and reactive.

I want to be courageous, but I consistently hide and stay quiet.

What’s going on here? How can we be free and so not free at the same time? 

Paul looks inside each one of us, and articulates something that will describe much of your Christian life this side of eternity. You are, Paul says, a living war zone. You live in a day-in, day-out conflict between your deepest desire—for a life of beauty and wholeness—and these competing desires, that interrupt and corrupt and confuse and distort. You deeply want to be good, but you also desire bad things. You deeply want to be faithful to your spouse, but you also notice that pretty coworker. You deeply want to be kind, but you feel sucked into introspection.

You want to be healthy but you also want a cookie. 

It’s chaos in there.

The traditional Christian language on this is as the tension between our inner self and ‘the flesh.’ The flesh describes our wounded desires, distorted by our mistakes and the scars inflicted by a broken world. The inner self, on the other hand, describes who you truly are. 

Separating these two is everything. It’s what Paul is doing. He’s saying that you, your true self, is redeemed and holy and good. You are free. Christians are free is a tautology. Your ‘flesh,’ however—the vehicle you’re driving— is dysfunctional and broken. And even the most skilled driver will struggle if the steering is poorly aligned.

Why does this matter?

It matters because of the story we start to tell ourselves when we keep on making the same mistakes.

I’m such an idiot.

I’m a failure.

I’m unloveable.

God must hate me.

I’m not free.

Paul stops these ideas dead in their tracks, cleaving a great divide between the wounds you carry and the person you are. Your broken desires do not tell you who you truly are: Jesus does. Your broken desires just tell you that you live in a fallen body with a wounded heart in a hurting world. But you are not defined by these things; you are defined in Him, and whatever condemnable things you have done cannot touch the fact that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 

When we spend any time with this, it is the most mind-blowing idea we can imagine, and it is the beating heart of the Gospel. 

The Christian journey is not about trying harder to become something that you are not. It is about recognising who you already are, and continually living into that reality in the strength that the Spirit gives.

Will we fail on the way? Sure. Paul did.

But can or will these failings ever change what Jesus has accomplished. Not a chance.

Because the cross of Jesus has painted a new word over your life.

And that word is freedom.

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Reflect:

Imagine yourself driving a really rundown car. It’s got a punctured tyre, failed brake lights, dents, scratches … you get the picture.

Start to give names to the problems in the vehicle, naming it with those wounded desires in you that steer you off course. Fear; anger; comparison; lust; …

Now look at yourself in the driving seat. You are dressed in perfect white. The Spirit of God is sitting beside you, coaxing and encouraging you to keep going.

The vehicle is imperfect; but the true self is free. 

And your travelling companion, it turns out, is a world-class mechanic.

What is He wanting to work on today?

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Pray:

Father,

I see the conflict,

And I feel it, every day.

I see that my anger stems from my hurts,

And my jealousy from my fears,

And my competitive desire to prove myself from the fact that I never felt quite enough.

In short, I see that my desires are broken.

And yet,

In my deepest places,

You have my life. 

And know that from this simple choice of you I find my true self.

And Holy Spirit, 

I ask you to increase holiness within me:

Healing the hurts,

Mending the untruths,

And renewing my very desires,

That I may will and act,

According to the purpose of my good God.

In Jesus Name, 

Who has made me free,

Amen

Old Testament: 

For those also reading the Old Testament this year, your additional readings are here:

Numbers 5-6 | Psalm 30